The Real Anahuacbusters

[swamphen]

Or, how the only Blue Max awarded so far in the 20th Century was earned...

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15 August
Brandenburg Gazette

The Kriegsmarine was scheduled to accept delivery of the one-time Anahuac battleship Paderborn-Delbrück from their Rohirrim rebuilders at Easter Island today. Despite some reports of superstitious nonsense surrounding the vessel, he seems to be a fine warship and is expected to be a fine addition to the defense of the Reich.

---

7 October
Rabaul Reporter

The battleship Paderborn-Delbrück arrived in the port today towing the badly damaged kleiner kreuzer Nymphe. Both ships will go into drydock, P.D. to install his secondary armament and track down a persistant plumbing problem, although rumours are that this has abated somewhat following 'the incident of the Maori, the sewage, and the Austrian Priest', and Nymphe to assess the damage caused by a renegade Socialist Swiss destroyer attack...

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11 October
Rabaul Reporter - extra edition

Two dead in accident aboard battleship!
Two yard workers involved in the arming of the jinxed battleship Paderborn-Delbrück were killed in an accident this morning. While the tragedy itself was not witnessed, the two workers were found floating in the water alongside the vessel at around 9:30 AM. It appears that one gashed his throat on the way overboard.

Officials quickly denied any connection to the rumoured mysterious happenings that have haunted the ship ever since its capture from the Anahuac...

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19 October
Rabaul Reporter

A series of accidents aboard the battleship Paderborn-Delbrück has the yard crews convinced the ship is haunted and refusing to go anywhere near him. Kriegsmarine officials dismiss the possibility of a ghost, however they do say that the unusual occurances are not random, they believe that they know what is happening and are working on a solution...
  
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23 October 1903
Blohm und Voss Ost, Rabaul, New Britain

"I'm sure Oberst Hammer briefed you on the situation, but please indulge me for a refresher." Kommodore von Hoban cleared his throat. "You've surely heard the rumours about the 'haunting' of Paderborn-Delbrück and the recent 'accidents' that have been occuring to the yard crew. We've accumulated enough evidence to be virtually certain that somehow, someway, there's an Anahuac agent stowed away aboard who's responsible for all this trouble. As he's obviously their best of the best, we decided to call on the Slammers, since you have the best knowledge of the Anahuac of anybody on this side of the Pacific - with the possible exception of" he spit on the ground "Agrival. Hammer said that you four were the best canidates for the job, and your mission, should you accept it, is to search this ship from stem to stern and bring me the head of an Anahuac warrior."

The four Legion Kondor officers - Rittmeister Kurt Wagner, Oberleutnant Danny Pritchard, Oberleutnant Sally Schilling, and Leutnat Fritz der Trihs - all nodded. "We're in," Wagner said, "we won't let him get away."

"You understand that this man has killed eight men without ever once being seen?"

"Sir," der Trihs said, "we ain't afraid of no gook."

von Hoban signed. "In that case," he motioned torwards the table, "here are the ship's plans, you'll note these corridors here..."

---

So far, they'd been in the bowels of the ship for four hours. Now and again one of them would spot the slighest movement out of a corner of an eye, but there was never anything there when they investigated.

Oberleutnant Sally Schilling and Leutnat Fritz der Trihs were, at the moment, working the port side aft of the officers' staterooms. Once or twice there had been a faint scratching, that either of them would have dismissed as the rats that were ubquitious aboard almost every ship - except "Petey" seemed to be entirely devoid of rats. Or even cockroaches, for that matter...

A bend in the corridor approached. der Trihs was slightly ahead. He carefully peered around the corner, his Luger out and poised. Schilling paused, checking a small storage room carefully, as der Trihs slipped around the corner...

And screamed.

Schilling leapt forwards and whirled around the corner, Luger raised - and found herself facing the barrel of another one. Held by an Anahuac warrior, standing over the dead body of Fritz der Trihs...

"I was going to sacrifice the heart of your friend here to Tsar-on," the saboteur had an evil smile. "But I believe yours will be so, so much better."

"But how can you be sure it is the heart of a virgin?" She spoke in his language, hoping to throw him off.

"It matters not. You are one of the Grey Horde of the East, you are of incalculable power of sacrifical value."

Schilling paused. "You will not succeed in your plans."

The Anahuac roared with laughter. "MY plans? Foolish woman! Do you really believe that you can defy the will of the Dark One? I will tell you why I am here. It is the highest blasphemy for one of the Maiar-touched to so much as tread upon the decks of a sacred vessel of the Anahuac, let alone possess it! I was chosen from among my people as I had studied from the earliest time the works of those you know as Sauron and Saruman. I am a master of the dark! For the past two years I have 'haunted' this ship."

"Really."

"You do not believe me? Very well then. Behold the power of the Dark One!"

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. A moment later, he spoke - and his voice had a hollow, echoing quality that rang throughout the ship.

"I AM THE SHIP GHOST! BEWARE!"

He opened his eyes. "That is the very least of my powers. I admit that it has taken much longer than I would have liked, but I shall triumph, and all of you shall be driven from the halls of Montezuma!"

"You obviously hold a high opinion of yourself." Schilling's voice was laden with scorn. "But you have not defeated us yet, and you never will. You are a man - and men die."

The Anahuac smiled toothily. "Quite true. But only when others have the will to kill them. And you do not have that will! For I am a master of the Dark, and if you kill me now, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."

"I don't know; I can imagine quite a lot."

"Enough talk." The Anahuac sneered. "Time to die - "

*BLAM*
*BLAM*
*BLAM*
*BLAM*

The Anahuac master's body dropped to the deck, his Luger clattering across the floor, four holes neatly stiched into his torso. "How?" he managed to gasp, staring at Schilling in a mix of pain, horror, and incomprehension. "No-one...fast...enough..." He coughed bloodily and his gaze darkened. "You...cheated."

Schilling leveled her pistol at the Eye-follower's forehead. She didn't know how she'd reacted so fast, but she wasn't arguing. "Only cheaters prosper."

*BLAM*


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epilogue
24 October
OKW, Neue Brandenburg

"...and so work will resume on the arming of Paderborn-Delbrück within the week."

"Too bad you killed him. He might have had some useful information."

"From what I've heard, it wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility for him to brainwash any guards into letting him waltz right out..."

"True. Ach vell. Now before we move on to the next issue, which might be a bit important, I only have one question for you."

"Yes, General?"

"Did von Hoban have to put the guy's head on a pike for P.D.'s bowspirit?"