Brandenburg Gazette

[swamphen]

That'd be the Perugrivals. :D

[P3D]

For DKB, Orange. New Switzerland is no problem - they are just providing excuses to be attacked ;)

[Borys]

since we sold out Coquimbo to the second-most despised people on the continent

Second?  Who's first?

New Colombian state motto:

"Perfeicon en tudo!"

Borys

[swamphen]

(already seen in the New Ship forum but placed here for completeness)

late January
Hohenzollernhaus, Neue Brandenburg

"Your highness," the Admiral bowed before the Kaiser. "You asked to see our plans for the ship that is to bear your name?"

"Indeed. What have you for me?"

The Admiral spread the plans on the table. The Kaiser looked them over, and frowned. "This is not Ersatz F."

"No, sire. Given the economic constraints of the war and the desire to fit 350mm guns to match the Orangemen's calibre, it was felt that a complete redesign was in order."

"With only four main guns."

"That does seem at first glance to be a regression, sire, however our tactical planners believe that the older type of battleship still has a future as a coast defense ship."

"The name of Kaiser Wilhelm the Second is to be applied to a küstenpanzerschiff?"

"Yes, sire."

"That is not acceptable. What happened to the plans to re-arm Ersatz F with the larger cannon?"

The Admiral was starting to sweat. "The design mounting eight 35-centimetre guns required a reduction in speed, making the ship too slow to operate with the schlachtkreuzers, but still with excessive speed for the existing ships - "

" - three of which now serve as fish havens - "

" - and the six-gun design, while retaining the speed, was considered to have a potential for structural weakness in the centre section, given the removal of the wing turrets and their not being replaced by a Q turret."

"And so you want to build two ships of 10,000 tons each instead."

"Actually only one, sire, economics..."

"That is completely unacceptable!" The Kaiser looked ready to erupt.

"Sire?"

"As the ship is to bear my name it is only natural that I approve the design. Which is seemingly the only thing you have done right here. I hope that the hull of Ersatz F has not yet been scrapped?"

"No, sire, that was to start in mid March - "

"Complete it instead."

The Admiral boggled. "Sire, that still has the economic factor - "

"You were planning on rebuilding these French ships we bought, yes? Scrap them instead. Between them and the Norman ships that closes much of the gap, yes?"

"Yes, sire, but - "

"No buts! Unless you want yours to be roasted over an open fire. I would rather have a fast ship with a large number of small guns than something with a small number of heavy-hitters that is smaller than a breadbox and can't get out of its own way! Build the ship as it was originally designed and as it has been built to date. Oh, you can fiddle with it enough to fit in the Deutenden Stock, but no more."

There was only one thing to say when the emperor laid down the law. "Yes, Kaiser."

[swamphen]

early February

"What happened with Firanj?"

"Well, *coughs*, it seems the message that was to inform them about our men arriving was, *ahem*, never sent."

"More blundering on your part?"

"I found it in the out-box on Fianj Desk. The man working there has been arrested..."

"*sighs* So it wasn't strictly their fault, then."

"Do you want to tell that to the press?"

"Ah, no not really. So what do we do about it?"

"I've had some diplomatic contact with Thrawn over the matter. He understands that we Need to be Seen as Doing Something; slipping the cruisers we're building for him by six months won't cause any further waves. And will actually in the end wind up benifiting both of us, actually."

"Do that, then, and I'll do what I can to hold off the calls for the head of the Hand. But what do we do about the man responsible? We can't just pack him off to Afrika with the other bumblers, men were actually killed - good men - this time."

"I have a cunning plan..."

diplomatic note from Brandenburg to Colombia:

"In light of the continued growth of diplomatic relations between our great nations, the Deutsches Kaiserreich Brandenburg would like to inquire into the possibility of expanding its diplomatic presence in Gran Colombia by the establishment of a consulate at Manaus."

[The Rock Doctor]

This would be acceptable.

[swamphen]

*packs off bumbling diplomat, hopes he catches numerous tropical diseases*

[Walter]

"I have a cunning plan..."

*packs off bumbling diplomat, hopes he catches numerous tropical diseases*

Hmmm... Looks like the cunning plan of Graf Sodoff von Baldrick might actually work. :D

[swamphen]

16 February
Brandenburg Gazette - Extra Mid-Day Edition

SHOTS HEARD FROM IMPERIAL PALACE!

[Carthaginian]

The Confederate consulate in Brandenburg sends it's concern over the current situation and inquires as to whether the Imperial Family requires assistance in any fashion- including a convenient hellhole into which any wrongdoers may be shipped.

[Ithekro]

I have no ready responce to this at present.

Player #3: "Do I see that happening?"

GM: "No.  You're at the bar."

Player #3: "Cool. I get drunk."

And it is awful quiet.

[The Rock Doctor]

Indeed.  And Foxy's been off moving the past few days.  Coincidence?

Gran Colombia awaits news from Brandenburg with curiousity...

[swamphen]

16 February
Brandenburg Gazette - Extra Extra Evening Edition

Details on today's incident at the Imperial Palace are sketchy but we understand that a man, rumoured to be the father of a crewman on one of the ships lost in recent battle against the Swiss, entered the Palace seeking an audience with the Kaiser, only to draw a sword on the All-Highest when he entered his study. Reportedly a fight ensued, only to be abruptly terminated when Prinz August Wilhelm, overhearing the scuffle, retreived his Afrikan hunting rifle and decapitated the intruder.

Officially no serious injuries have been reported, however it is rumoured that the Kaiser suffered a moderate laceration to his left hand....




Note 1: No Swiss involvement (...presumably...) whatsoever. But do you think that's how its going to be spun? ;)

Note 2: Also a bit of convergence with @ there at the end...

[Borys]

OOC
Ahoj!
My web access is erratic and it is difficult for me to write longer posts. I more or less manage to stay abreast. Not to mention the mind boggling effects of 450 calories a day diet ...


Decapitation with a rifle sounds strange ...


IC
The Viennese Court is happy that the Royal Person survived the Outrageous Act. The Prinz will get an Austrian medal "For Valorous Service" - the first award given to ANY royalty since Stefan's accension to the throne.



Borys

[Walter]

Decapitation with a rifle sounds strange ...

Indeed. It sounds like there can be only one...