Brandenburg Gazette

[swamphen]

20 October 1907 (early morning)
Office of Graf von Bülow
Reich Foreign Ministry
Neue Brandenburg

"What news do you have for me this fine morning?" The Count was in a rare happy mood. It was sad, his secretary thought, that it wasn't going to last.

"Well, sir, we have received a signal from Scharnhorst. His mission was accomplished, the Swiss cables are now cut."

"Good! Excellent! What else?"

"Well sir..."

"Spit it out man, I can take it."

"We've received a message from our envoy to Gran Colombia..."

"Oh? Did they finally come to their senses and realise that a complete island group is worth far more than a measley training battleship?"

"Not exactly, sir. The Colombians aren't willing to give up Helene. But..."

"But what."

"But he says he reached an agreement to sell the Cook Islands."

It had been a nice, balmy spring day in Neue Brandenburg. Now, at least in this office, a cold front swept through.

"Did he now? That's interesting. I thought he was only supposed to swap them for that ship."

"Those were your orders, sir."

Icicles began to form on the curtainrods.

"And how much did our extraordinary envoy make for the Reichsbank?"

"Er...a thousand Kaisermarks, sir."

He could, the secretary thought, stand the screaming. But he bolted when the furniture began to fly.

[swamphen]

25 October
Neue Kiel

The crippled minelayer Albatross was towed into port today by the Imperial Yacht, acting in its role as a wartime auxiliary. Albatross reportedly ripped his hull open on a reef while engaging in wartime operations earlier this week and is very low in the water. Rumours are that the Admiralstab has already decided that he is not worth repairing; if this is true, the loss of this nearly-new ship is a heavy blow for the Kreigsmarine....

[swamphen]

German newspapers in this time period make great sport of lampooning the fact that the Swiss - the Swiss! - call their fleet the High Seas Fleet.  ;D

[swamphen]

28 October
Neue Kiel

The minelayer SMS Albatross has sunk at his berth after suffering heavy damage running aground last week. The ship's main deck is just above the waterline.

[swamphen]

November
Telegram from Ambassador Takeda, at the Embassy to France, to OKW

HAVE SECURED TWO C COST RM12 DELIVERY 1 DECEMBER STOP ADVISE NAMES DESIRED STOP TAKEDA

And the reply

EXCELLENT WORK STOP NAMES KAISER BARBAROSSA AND KURFÜRST FRIEDRICH WILHELM STOP LETTERS

[swamphen]

mid November
Neue Königsburg

The commander of 5th Division, IX Corps looked on in bewilderment as the men from the Quartermaster Corps rounded up his equipment. He had been well on the way to having his division ready well before the 1 December date specified for the activation of reserve elements. But now, they were taking all the equipment of four-fifths of his men! Sorry, they'd said, but we can't tell you why. Oh well, at least he'd get to spend Christmas with his family before the replacement kit arrived...

[swamphen]

mid November
Zambian Copper News

Agents of the RSD have arrested a number of prominent figures in the financial departments of the Zambian copper mining concerns. Reportedly these men have been skimming the profits from the mines, to the tune of KM30,000 per year.

Given that the arrests have been made during wartime, it is not out of the question that Treason may be added to the list of charges...

(ooc: I realised that my start-up kit had included +2 IC from the Zambian mines, but I had forgotten to include it. Scorpion counting is too good for the perpatrators.)

[swamphen]

3rd week of November
Scrapping and Sales Office
Afrikaflotte HQ, Dodoma, Deutsch Ost Afrika

The commander of the AF's Scrapping and Sales office eyed the offer on his desk. The four old torpedobooten had been placed on the market a second time, and had immediately attracted an anonomyous bid of KM50 for the four - well, well above the minimum set. However the rules said that, in time of the Reich being at war, the identity of the purchaser must be known before a sale could be made, lest the enemy acquire Brandenburg's own equipment to use against the Fatherland. He knew, of course, that the bid had to be from either New Zion or Switzerland, and despite his own personal leanings, the rules were the rules.

But after the rejection, another note arrived from the same source. Offering RM1 for the four boats. This caused the officer to think long and hard. He wasn't German, after all, but Norman, from Kenya; a colony that Brandenburg had acquired in the late 1880s during one of the Normans' internal squabbles. Many Kenyans didn't like that very much; he was one of them. Taking a job in the Kriegsmarine was, for him, simply about defending Kenya - not the Reich. And so what did he care about the Reich's silly rules? Such an outrageous offer for such old, small boats - it wouldn't be too hard for him to officially sell them for a little less, wasn't it? And what were the risks? He eyed the cage in the corner of his office and smiled, After all, he liked scorpions.

He composed a reply, accepting the offer, and directng that payment be made using two cheques - one for KM80, and another for KM20. He then entered in the official transaction log that S62, S63, S64 and S65 had been sold to an Italian scrapping company for KM80.

Whistling, he then decided to head out for tea. As he left, he dropped the other offer that had been received into the wastebin. A Capitan Tagon - Swiss, he knew that - had offered KM30 for the four. Sorry chap, better luck next time...

[Desertfox]

Coast of New Zion, Early December

"You payed what? For those scrap heaps?"

"But think about it, when the Germans find out where their ships ended up..."

"I don't care, you wasted half our budget on those?"

"But New Zion is desperate for ships..."

"And you think they'll appreciate this gift?"

"But..."

"No buts. Now find a way to get that money back, I don't care if you have to steal it. Meanwhile I'll find out how to put these rusting piles of scrap to good use."

[swamphen]

[engaging WABAC Machine]

"Hans, did you know the Swiss are blockading us?"

"Really!"

"Yes, really!"

"Tell me Franz, exactly what do they hope to stop reaching us? Our imports of coconuts and taro?!"

"Ha ha! You are a funny one Hans! Maybe they hope to stop the monthly freighter full of goats?"

"Ho ho ho!"

"Let the Swiss blockade us! They will find us a tough nut to crack!"


(Coconuts, taro, goats, palm nuts, pineapples, hawgs...Deutsch Neue Guinea is in no danger of starvation.)

[Borys]

OOC
There also is oink-oink.
Papuans and Germans have one thing in common - they love oink-oink.

Borys

[swamphen]

November
Pôrto Alegre, Rio Grande do Sul

Oberst Edward "Ned" Kelly of the 500-man Bushranger Korps, who is not only "persona non grata" but "shoot on sight" in New Switzerland, addresses his men:

"Well boys, we had a good time here in Brazil, and then we had a good time, *ahem*, but it seems the Kaiser has need of our services elsewhere..."

[The Rock Doctor]

Somebody's been browsing Wikipedia...

[Borys]

OOC
Didn't catch the meaning of hawg, sorry for wasted bandwidth.
Borys

[swamphen]

Somebody's been browsing Wikipedia...

True, but not recently - he's roused N-verse rabble before.  8)

Borys: I added Hawg after your post, so no waste. :)