DKB Not News, IC Stuff that isn't public knowlege, but is nice to read

[Guinness]

Son of %$#@!

Cue Music...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOX9qv_yRIM

Michael

My guess is Mike's been storing this up for years... :)

[miketr]

Actually its very popular to do the Imperial March with German's on You Tube so I just did a search to find an example. 

[Logi]

Waiting for the official declaration of war.

I did say this you know ;)

[Sachmle]

TO: Carl Jessen
FROM: Erich Hermann von Lindenhoff
SUBJECT: Reports of ESC vessels active involvement in Dutch Blockade

Mr Jessen,

It has come to our attention that there are Confederate* kleiner kruezers operating in the Dutch blockade of Siam. As of this time we have not received a declaration of war from the East Sea Confederation, nor has Siam to our knowledge. It is very upsetting to see your nation acting deceptively on this matter. We have received unsubstantiated reports that these vessels are operating under Dutch command, but are still manned by Confederate crews, flying the Confederate naval pennant. If this is the case we request that a description of the vessels involved is provided to prevent any unfortunate accidents involving Confederate ships not under Dutch command. We would feel terrible if Confederate sailors and property were placed in harm's way if they're not acting under Dutch command and therefore not at war with us. However, if you can not provide said list, we will be forced, for the safety of our crews and vessels to presume any ESC flagged warships to be a beligerant and act accordingly. Please reply with most haste.

Respectfully,
Erich Hermann von Lindenhoff
Reich Foreign Ministry

*DKB refers to the ESC as Confederates, and the CSA as Americans.

[The Bushranger]

*grabs a Jamocha shake and a bowl of popcorn*

:D

[Sachmle]

*grabs a Jamocha shake and a bowl of popcorn*

:D

ummmm, jamocha.

[Sachmle]

OFFICE OF REICH FOREIGN MINISTRY

Erich Hermann von Lindenhoff: Gentlemen, we've been given a most delicate assignment by the Kaiser himself. It will take utmost professionalism and above all else, secrecy to pull it off. However, IF we succeed we will have in one fell swoop eliminated a liability of the Reich AND severely weakened an potential enemy. Now, everyone has read the briefing so off to your assignments. Remember, tell NO ONE, not even your spouses, your parents, even your children. Am I understood?

(The rest of the office nods in agreement and scrambles out to waiting coaches/cars/whatever they use)

[Walter]

The rest of the office nods in agreement and scrambles out to waiting coaches/cars/whatever they use

Horse...
Bike...
Motorcycle...
Stretched limosine...
Dinghy...
Rowing Boat...
Longship...
Galleon...
Aircraft Carrier...
Ferry...
Plane...
Lorry...
Bus...
Hearse...
Steamroller...
Bulldozer
Pickup truck (Toyota of course)...
Amphibous car...
Helicopter...
VW Beetle...
Mazda RX-7...
Shelby Cobra GT500...
Jaguar XJS...
Porshe 911...
Chevrolet Corvette...
Aston Martin DB5...
Ferrari Enzo...
Bugatti Veyron...

Just to name a few. :D

=====================================================

Once everyone has left, one of the statues in the room begins to move. It jumps of its pedestal and hobbles away, returning to base.

The agent makes his report, puts it into an envelope and goes in his trusty plane to the standard exchange point where information goes one way and diamonds go the other way. The agent meets with two men who hand him a small suitcase with diamonds while he hands them the envelope with the information

After the exchange, the agent took off again. After a few minutes in the air, an explosion rips the flimsy plane to shreds and the remnants of the plane comes crashing down.

"If God had wanted man to fly..." one fo the two men says.

"... he would have given him wings, Mr. Kidd," the other finishes.

[Sachmle]

Office of Kaiser Friedrich IV
Neue Brandenburg

Present:
Kaiser Friedrich IV
Großesadmiral Friedrich von Ingenohl - Secretary of State of the Imperial Naval Office
Generalfeldmarschall Helmuth Johann Ludwig von Moltke - Chief of the General staff
Erich Hermann von Lindenhoff - Minister of Foreign Affairs
Dietrich Eberhardt - Minister of Internal Affairs

Gentlemen, we have recieved a most interesting response from the Confederates as to our request they remove themselves from this conflict. Now, how do we respond?

If I may mein Kaiser, I have an idea.

Go ahead Erich.

I believe the general consensus is that Legion Kondor and Sereniteit provide a precedent that allows others to dispatch 'rogue' vessels and 'volunteer' troops without exposing themselves to declarations of war from those under attack. If we remove this precedent, it removes the excuse.

What!? Do you propose we disband the Legion?!?

No, nothing of the sort. I propose we absorb them directly into the Wermacht. And as to Sereniteit, we'll add her to the Kaiserliche Marine. Any of the former ACM crew that wishes to leave will have to be dealt with at that time, but I think they've served their time if it comes to that.

Interesting. What do you think Friedrich?

Well, I'd hate to loose the services of Sereniteit. She may be getting old, but she's still a useful ship. As to the Legion itself I have no opinion one way or the other.

What shall we use to convince these mercenaries to become full time soldiers loyal only to the Kaiser? More money, land, titles?

A home, a life after warfare, and safety for their families. That's what we offer. They'll be granted full citizenship to the Kaiserrieich with all that comes with it. As to title, well that is for the Kaiser to decide.

I like it. It removes the argument of "If they do it, why can't we?" and provides us with a full time elite level corps of soldiers that can be our first line in any war. As to titles, well....knighthood isn't out of the question and there are some lesser titles not currently claimed that could be arraigned for the leadership of the Legion. Friedrich, Helmuth, see to it at once.

Ja, mein Kaiser.

Ja, mein Kaiser.

[maddox]

December 23 1916

A posh restaurant in Paris.


Bonjour Ambassador Takeda, I'm glad you could join me.
With pleasure Monsieur Grange, for an esteemed collega I can make time, especialy with an invitation to this establishment.

Just a lunch between men of the world, not a worklunch tough.

.......................

2 hours later,

Ambassador Takeda, I thank you for the wonderfull company. But I have to whip my personel into more productivity.

I hope you can achieve mutual satisfaction in that task. 

I assure you, I will. Oh, garçon, a cognac for monsieur L'ambassadeur.

Takeda, enjoy your pouse café.

Monsieur Grange leaves,  a small briefcase is left.

Takeda, who knows the tricks of the head of Securité, takes it with him, and opens it very carefully when in his office.

Oh, you asshole, you sneaky bastard, Occitanie is real....

[Sachmle]

The following is sent to the following nations:
The Kingdom of the Netherlands
The Reformist Republic of China
The Kingdom of Siam
The Kingdom of Burma
The Kingdom of New Switzerland
The Kingdom of Firanj
The Kingdom of Rohan
The Middle Kingdom
The Austrian Empire
The Empire of Japan
Independent Indochina
The Kingdom of Romania
The Kingdom of Bavaria(YES WE ACTUALLY INCLUDED YOU, be grateful)
The East Sea Confederation
The Iberian Empire
The Republic of Gran Columbia
The Republic of France
The Italian Empire
The Republic of Orange

This is sent to all your governments:

DKB will remain on war footing for the duration of time required to return all troops and warships to their peacetime posts. Some of these post will be different from prewar positions. Do not be alarmed. We are committed to the peace and have no intentions of back dooring anyone.

We request that all Indochinese troops leave Nord Indokina as soon as ready to transit. Any vessels dispatched from Europe, whether they be Austrian, Confederate, Dutch, or Romania may use Aden to make resupply for their return to Europe. Warships of the nations of the Leipzig Pact will be required to allow DKB pilots on board as well as a small contingent of Stürmtruppen as a security measure. We apologize for any inconvenience, but feel this is necessary for now.

As per treaty we will not push the Wuhan/Hankow issue. We feel this border dispute is best left to the Middle Kingdom and RRC to discuss amongst themselves. At such time as this issue is resolved if whomever ends up with the city wishes to continue the cantonment we will be open to this option. However, IF RRC keeps control of the city and does not wish to continue the cantonment, we respectfully request reimbursement for the infrastructure we recently completed (I just built and IC there).

Any residents of the ceded areas who do not wish to remain may leave as is their choice. Any who remain will be granted DKB citizenship and may keep their Dutch citizenship if they so choose. Any who wish to make pilgrimage to the holy lands will be allowed safe transit at that time.

And a final note:
The former Kronprinz Wilhelm will be leaving Japan. Through the last few years he has made contact with his brother and their issues have been sufficiently resolved. Wilhelm will be the new provisional governor of Deutsches Indonesien.

We issue the following information regarding mine fields: (This information is available to ALL nations who may have shipping in the areas listed)

There is a minefield off Phucket
There are mines in the Malacca strait
There are mines off Padangbai
There are mines off Margomulyo
There are mines in the Torres strait

Maps will be included (Not really, but you get the idea)

[Walter]

uhm...

DKB Not News, IC Stuff that isn't public knowlege, but is nice to read

... so no one will know about what has been written. ;D

[Sachmle]

uhm...

DKB Not News, IC Stuff that isn't public knowledge, but is nice to read

... so no one will know about what has been written. ;D

The PUBLIC won't know, but the governments will.

[Walter]

Yes, but you added New Switzerland to the list so everyone on the planet will know about it. :D

[Tanthalas]

And a final note:
The former Kronprinz Wilhelm will be leaving Japan. Through the last few years he has made contact with his brother and their issues have been sufficiently resolved. Wilhelm will be the new provisional governor of Deutsches Indonesien.

I dont supose the Kronprinz is in the market for a wife =P